born into this mess
Saturday, April 30, 2005
 
my bike came back!

hurrah!

the basket and wheels are gone, but still!

wheeeee!
 
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Thursday, April 28, 2005
  shut up and play that guitar




I go through phases of listening to Lucero obsessively and I have to confess that I can't stop playing the new record. Roy Berry dropped off a promo the other day and it's been on my iPod for a solid week.

good and sad and good and southern.


I'll settle for watching her dance
I'm happy just watching her dance
we ain't nobody's darlings


we never stood a chance...

 
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Tuesday, April 26, 2005
  look how they shine for you
teresa, my best friend from graduate school, lives about an hour from nyc. i went and visited her over spring break and had a blast hanging out with her hilarious and fucked up (but in a good way, the kind where they all still love each other without any judgement) family.

this morning, around 6, she gave birth to aidan tomas. i can't wait to meet him.

as soon as i can get enough money saved, i'm moving again. up to brooklyn or over to eugene/portland.
i've been here far too long; i'm getting restless. i spent the first 9 years of my life in the bay area, 4 in horrible edward scissorhands suburban atlanta, then bounced around memphis from house to house, a new one every few months, for the next 12 years. i have things i want to do with my life and i'm not going to be able to do them here.
 
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karma's a funny thing.

apparently in a past life i was some sort of terrorist who blew up trains and such because i have got some serious bad luck with wheels.


my bike got stolen.
 
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  Poem for Monday, April 25, 2005
35/10


By Sharon Olds


Brushing out our daughter‚s brown
silken hair before the mirror
I see the grey gleaming on my head,
the silver-haired servant behind her. Why is it
just as we begin to go
they begin to arrive, the fold in my neck
clarifying as the fine bones of her
hips sharpen? As my skin shows
its dry pitting, she opens like a moist
precise flower on the tip of a cactus;
as my last chances to bear a child
are falling through my body, the duds among them,
her full purse of eggs, round and
firm as hard-boiled yolks, is about
to snap its clasp. I brush her tangled
fragrant hair at bedtime. It's an old
story˜the oldest we have on our planet˜
the story of replacement.






Burke's Book Store
1719 Poplar Avenue
Memphis, TN 38104
(901) 278-7484
www.burkesbooks.com
Winner of Best of Memphis in Memphis Flyer
for 7 Straight Years
 
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  Poem for Monday, April 25, 2005
35/10


By Sharon Olds


Brushing out our daughter‚s brown
silken hair before the mirror
I see the grey gleaming on my head,
the silver-haired servant behind her. Why is it
just as we begin to go
they begin to arrive, the fold in my neck
clarifying as the fine bones of her
hips sharpen? As my skin shows
its dry pitting, she opens like a moist
precise flower on the tip of a cactus;
as my last chances to bear a child
are falling through my body, the duds among them,
her full purse of eggs, round and
firm as hard-boiled yolks, is about
to snap its clasp. I brush her tangled
fragrant hair at bedtime. It's an old
story˜the oldest we have on our planet˜
the story of replacement.






Burke's Book Store
1719 Poplar Avenue
Memphis, TN 38104
(901) 278-7484
www.burkesbooks.com
Winner of Best of Memphis in Memphis Flyer
for 7 Straight Years
 
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Thursday, April 21, 2005
  on my iPod
the Walkmen- bows+arrows
Outkast- Stankonia & Aquemini
the Glass- Concorde
Dixie Dirt- on our way like we never met

random songs by the Kinks, Led Zeppelin, Eminem (esp 'cleaning out my closet), Ryan Adams, Kimya Dawson, Kind of Like Spitting, Harlan T Bobo, Antony & the Johnsons...


I'm SO pretending to work right now...
 
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Wednesday, April 20, 2005
 
the entire city is covered in yellow dust, inside and out.

ouch.

ouch.

ouch.
 
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Thursday, April 14, 2005
 
"i can feel it in my bones, i'm gonna spend another year alone."
 
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Tuesday, April 12, 2005
 
made some wasabi tiramisu just now, a little experiment for this saturday's catering event. very thin cake (rice, flour, eggs, milk, sugar) layered with tamari, wasabi mascarpone, avocado, and smoked salmon, wrapped in a strip of nori with some pickled ginger on top.


damn, i rule.
 
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  this life is a mess, but not anymore
dear Richard Hawley,


I love you.


Sincerely,

Sue
 
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Monday, April 11, 2005
 
why, sue, why are you on the internet? shouldn't you be at work?

heh.

oh wait, i am.

cleaning the big house today, with my laptop. like having a very expensive boom box.
when they make ipod cellphones my life will be complete.


i forgot to mention that i had my very first party the other day.
my apartment is about 50 feet long. shoebox.

fisrt me and baby beth were watching thelma and louise. then the 4 circuit benders come tropping up my stairs without wiping their boots. 20 minutes later 4 more kids show up and then the dogs trot in and hell i got 4 cats right now...
i think a party is sort of defined by how many people per square yard one has.
so yeah, party. woo hoo.



i've been on this crazy meat eating tear for the past month. i think i must be protein starved. roast beast sandwiches, pork chops, bacon sandwiches, fried chicken, hamburgers, beef stew.

it must be the bikeriding or the intense social life.

ok, i am really going to clean now.
 
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Sunday, April 10, 2005
  clearance ben
Ben Roberts, my favorite boy from high school has a blog now, clearance bin and I have to say it's just about the most hilarious thing in this arm of the galaxy.

last night after the Circuit Benders we went by the house across from the Felix (RIP, snif) where the boy is housesitting and I go in to empty some of the Sparks, cuba libre, and PBR out of my bladder. unfortunately as I flushed the toilet the waterline to the tank became violently disconnected and started spewing cold water at me. I screamed hysterically and then both of us ran around like chickens with their heads cut off for a minute. finally I found the panel to the waterline and turned it off, but good god damn there was a lot of pacing around the house hollering. I mean here we have two incoherently intoxicated kids yelling at each other what the hell happened I dont know I flushed it and it exploded oh god oh shit and what the hell acck.

damn we gots to love the midtown plumbing.


I want to marry the Beauty Shop and have its babies for brunch.

mmm.


brunch.
 
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Saturday, April 09, 2005
  Poem for Monday, April 4, 2005
a bit late as I just now set up my wireless network





from "Journal"


by David P. Young



Sometimes the self is cracked and peeled.
It's twilight here. It's spring.
The moon is new and narrow,
The air is pure; things
Belong. This empty field
Dreams of the farm in every furrow
As the body dreams the mind,
The windmill dreams the wind.



Burke's Book Store
1719 Poplar Avenue
Memphis, TN 38104
(901) 278-7484
www.burkesbooks.com
Winner of Best of Memphis in Memphis Flyer
for 7 Straight Years

 
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Wednesday, April 06, 2005
  urrrrffff


after huge spring break road trip neglected to pay time warner and somehow haven't felt the need to get the internet turned back on. there's free wireless everywhere, occasionally even in my own front yard. god bless you, netgear, whomever you are.

so, superquick update: car is totalled after the big running a red light late to work wreck 2 fridays ago. I haven't found an appropriately cheap car yet and am quite happy riding my fabulous new bike around. it's got paperboy baskets big enough to haul around my cleaning gear, and gears and brakes that actually work, and the boys at the Peddlar were nice enough to adjust the seat to my height so that it's just plain easy to get around. it feels amazing to toodle down the road powered by my body, as opposed to greedy warmonger overpriced gasoline.

my ass is looking kinda bouncy, too.

heh.

my schedule's ridiculously unstretchable so I may not be able to start biofeedback with cool new shrink until school lets out, but I am looking much forward to taking an active role in regulating my brain.

also had the insight that the habit I developed about 5 years ago of om mani padme hum-ing my way out of bad headspace is actually rather similar to doing biofeedback. the Pure Land Buddhists say that by chanting the name of the Buddha or certain mantras one ensures one's rebirth into a blissful existence. I've reinterpreted that to mean that I can chant my way into a better place in the Here and Now.

what else. filled out the online application to teach Spanish in the Memphis city school system and hopefully will hear from them soon. even changed my voicemail from Spike sneering "someone wasn't worthy" to something more suitable with my name and the invitation to leave a message.

in general despite various stressful things and tinkering with my meds I'm just plain Happy. Doing Well.
Going Out a whole bunch and enjoying people.

Rocking a lot of high heels and short skirts, having my dancing skills requested by various bands, doing a little free-lance social work for my Girls.

Life's good.

Happy Daylight Savings.

Love,

the Future Profesora Sue

 
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Saturday, April 02, 2005
  i won't obey



am seriously considering substituting daily bike riding and biofeedback for effexor.




tired of being another blindeyed whimpering pup at the tit of

Fitter, happier, more productive,
comfortable,
not drinking too much,
regular exercise at the gym
(3 days a week),
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries ,
at ease,
eating well
(no more microwave dinners and saturated fats),
a patient better driver,
a safer car(baby smiling in back seat),
sleeping well
(no bad dreams),
no paranoia,
careful to all animals
(never washing spiders down the plughole),
keep in contact with old friends
(enjoy a drink now and then),
will frequently check credit at
(moral) bank (hole in the wall),
favors for favors,
fond but not in love,
charity standing orders,
on Sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants),
car wash
(also on Sundays),
no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate,
nothing so childish - at a better pace,
slower and more calculated,
no chance of escape,
now self-employed,
concerned (but powerless),
an empowered and informed member of society
(pragmatism not idealism),
will not cry in public,
less chance of illness,
tires that grip in the wet
(shot of baby strapped in back seat),
a good memory,
still cries at a good film,
still kisses with saliva,
no longer empty and frantic
like a cat
tied to a stick,
that's driven into
frozen winter shit
(the ability to laugh at weakness),
calm,
fitter,
healthier and more productive
a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics.

 
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of you folks up in this mess

I'll lean on you sometimes.
Just to see if you're still there
These feet can't take the weight of one,
much less two, so we hit concrete.

How were we born into this mess?

Jawbreaker, "Kiss the Bottle"

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why I am ashamed of my government

baghdad burning
changing face of iraq
free iraq!
iraq body count
iraq in pictures
today in iraq
Cost of the War in Iraq
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cherry blossom special
clearance bin: bent robots
margaret cho fucking rawks
exploding dog
neil gaiman
indy media: you see it, you write it, we read it
in your face
memphis scene
michael moore
the morning news
pulp faction
que sera sera
rachel and the city: memphis gossip
saturna: moms can be DJs too
teaching baby paranoia
this imploding heart
where we're bound
white ninja comics
wil wheaton
will you marry me, dave eggers?


ryan adams
cory branan
harlan t bobo
dixie dirt
eminem
the faint
the glass
godspeed you black emperor
jawbreaker
damien jurado
lucero
will oldham
bruce springsteen
this bike is a pipe bomb
sigur ros
songs: ohia
tom waits
the yeah yeah yeahs


monkeys susan minot
of love and other demons gabriel garcia marquez
how we are hungry dave eggers
a true story based on lies jennifer clement
frida barbara mujica
confessions of an ugly stepsister gregory maguire
the amazing adventures of kavalier and clay michael chabon
taft ann patchett
drop city t c boyle
song of solomon toni morrison
strong motion jonathan franzen
a house for mr biswas v s naipaul
the last samurai helen dewitt
retrato en sepia isabel allende
the sun also rises ernest hemingway. ernest goddamn hemingway
de todo lo visible y lo invisible lucia etxebarria
bastard out of carolina dorothy allison
light can be both wave and particle ellen gilchrist
the last report on the miracles at little no horse louise erdrich
the onion girl charles delint
oblivion david foster wallace
underworld don delillo
for hearing people only:answers to the most commonly asked questions about the deaf community matthew moore
dress your family in corduroy and denim david sedaris
the feast of love charles baxter
an unquiet mind kay jamison
the adventures of huckleberry finn
the adventures of tom sawyer mark twain
middlesex jeffrey eugenides
interpreter of maladies jhumpa lahiri
american psycho bret easton ellis
how to be good nick hornby
as i lay dying william faulkner
the book of joe jonathan tropper
portrait of a romantic steven millhauser
tiny giants nate powell
how to be alone jonathan franzen
diablo guardián xavier velasco
white teeth zadie smith
candy mian mian
vivir para contarla gabriel garcia marquez
raise high the roof beam, carpenters & seymour: an introduction j d salinger
girl in landscape jonathan lethem
in the penny arcade steven millhauser
amnesia moon jonathan lethem
motherless brooklyn jonathan lethem
a plague of dreamers steve stern
franny and zooey j.d. salinger
lies and the lying liars who tell them al franken
sick puppy carl hiaasen
Don Quixote Miguel de Cervantes, trans. Edith Grossman
Travesti: sex, gender and culture among Brazilian transgendered prostitutes
Don Kulick

Talk: a novel in dialogue Corey Mesler
Thirteen Stories and Thirteen Epitaphs William T. Vollmann
The Once and Future King T.H. White


black lodge video
burke's books
decleyre housing coooperative
hi tone cafe
live from memphis
digital media co-op
memphis flyer
metal museum
midtown food co-op
miz ellen's soul food
p & h cafe
stella


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