I go through phases of listening to Lucero obsessively and I have to confess that I can't stop playing the new record. Roy Berry dropped off a promo the other day and it's been on my iPod for a solid week.
good and sad and good and southern.
I'll settle for watching her dance
I'm happy just watching her dance
we ain't nobody's darlings
we never stood a chance...
teresa, my best friend from graduate school, lives about an hour from nyc. i went and visited her over spring break and had a blast hanging out with her hilarious and fucked up (but in a good way, the kind where they all still love each other without any judgement) family.
this morning, around 6, she gave birth to aidan tomas. i can't wait to meet him.
as soon as i can get enough money saved, i'm moving again. up to brooklyn or over to eugene/portland.
i've been here far too long; i'm getting restless. i spent the first 9 years of my life in the bay area, 4 in horrible edward scissorhands suburban atlanta, then bounced around memphis from house to house, a new one every few months, for the next 12 years. i have things i want to do with my life and i'm not going to be able to do them here.
apparently in a past life i was some sort of terrorist who blew up trains and such because i have got some serious bad luck with wheels.
my bike got stolen.
35/10
By Sharon Olds
Brushing out our daughter‚s brown
silken hair before the mirror
I see the grey gleaming on my head,
the silver-haired servant behind her. Why is it
just as we begin to go
they begin to arrive, the fold in my neck
clarifying as the fine bones of her
hips sharpen? As my skin shows
its dry pitting, she opens like a moist
precise flower on the tip of a cactus;
as my last chances to bear a child
are falling through my body, the duds among them,
her full purse of eggs, round and
firm as hard-boiled yolks, is about
to snap its clasp. I brush her tangled
fragrant hair at bedtime. It's an old
story˜the oldest we have on our planet˜
the story of replacement.
Burke's Book Store
1719 Poplar Avenue
Memphis, TN 38104
(901) 278-7484
www.burkesbooks.com
Winner of Best of Memphis in Memphis Flyer
for 7 Straight Years
35/10
By Sharon Olds
Brushing out our daughter‚s brown
silken hair before the mirror
I see the grey gleaming on my head,
the silver-haired servant behind her. Why is it
just as we begin to go
they begin to arrive, the fold in my neck
clarifying as the fine bones of her
hips sharpen? As my skin shows
its dry pitting, she opens like a moist
precise flower on the tip of a cactus;
as my last chances to bear a child
are falling through my body, the duds among them,
her full purse of eggs, round and
firm as hard-boiled yolks, is about
to snap its clasp. I brush her tangled
fragrant hair at bedtime. It's an old
story˜the oldest we have on our planet˜
the story of replacement.
Burke's Book Store
1719 Poplar Avenue
Memphis, TN 38104
(901) 278-7484
www.burkesbooks.com
Winner of Best of Memphis in Memphis Flyer
for 7 Straight Years
the Walkmen- bows+arrows
Outkast- Stankonia & Aquemini
the Glass- Concorde
Dixie Dirt- on our way like we never met
random songs by the Kinks, Led Zeppelin, Eminem (esp 'cleaning out my closet), Ryan Adams, Kimya Dawson, Kind of Like Spitting, Harlan T Bobo, Antony & the Johnsons...
I'm SO pretending to work right now...
damn, i rule.
heh.
oh wait, i am.
cleaning the big house today, with my laptop. like having a very expensive boom box.
when they make ipod cellphones my life will be complete.
i forgot to mention that i had my very first party the other day.
my apartment is about 50 feet long. shoebox.
fisrt me and baby beth were watching thelma and louise. then the 4 circuit benders come tropping up my stairs without wiping their boots. 20 minutes later 4 more kids show up and then the dogs trot in and hell i got 4 cats right now...
i think a party is sort of defined by how many people per square yard one has.
so yeah, party. woo hoo.
i've been on this crazy meat eating tear for the past month. i think i must be protein starved. roast beast sandwiches, pork chops, bacon sandwiches, fried chicken, hamburgers, beef stew.
it must be the bikeriding or the intense social life.
ok, i am really going to clean now.
Ben Roberts, my favorite boy from high school has a blog now, clearance bin and I have to say it's just about the most hilarious thing in this arm of the galaxy.
last night after the Circuit Benders we went by the house across from the Felix (RIP, snif) where the boy is housesitting and I go in to empty some of the Sparks, cuba libre, and PBR out of my bladder. unfortunately as I flushed the toilet the waterline to the tank became violently disconnected and started spewing cold water at me. I screamed hysterically and then both of us ran around like chickens with their heads cut off for a minute. finally I found the panel to the waterline and turned it off, but good god damn there was a lot of pacing around the house hollering. I mean here we have two incoherently intoxicated kids yelling at each other what the hell happened I dont know I flushed it and it exploded oh god oh shit and what the hell acck.
damn we gots to love the midtown plumbing.
I want to marry the Beauty Shop and have its babies for brunch.
mmm.
brunch.
a bit late as I just now set up my wireless network
from "Journal"
by David P. Young
Sometimes the self is cracked and peeled.
It's twilight here. It's spring.
The moon is new and narrow,
The air is pure; things
Belong. This empty field
Dreams of the farm in every furrow
As the body dreams the mind,
The windmill dreams the wind.
Burke's Book Store
1719 Poplar Avenue
Memphis, TN 38104
(901) 278-7484
www.burkesbooks.com
Winner of Best of Memphis in Memphis Flyer
for 7 Straight Years
after huge spring break road trip neglected to pay time warner and somehow haven't felt the need to get the internet turned back on. there's free wireless everywhere, occasionally even in my own front yard. god bless you, netgear, whomever you are.
so, superquick update: car is totalled after the big running a red light late to work wreck 2 fridays ago. I haven't found an appropriately cheap car yet and am quite happy riding my fabulous new bike around. it's got paperboy baskets big enough to haul around my cleaning gear, and gears and brakes that actually work, and the boys at the Peddlar were nice enough to adjust the seat to my height so that it's just plain easy to get around. it feels amazing to toodle down the road powered by my body, as opposed to greedy warmonger overpriced gasoline.
my ass is looking kinda bouncy, too.
heh.
my schedule's ridiculously unstretchable so I may not be able to start biofeedback with cool new shrink until school lets out, but I am looking much forward to taking an active role in regulating my brain.
also had the insight that the habit I developed about 5 years ago of om mani padme hum-ing my way out of bad headspace is actually rather similar to doing biofeedback. the Pure Land Buddhists say that by chanting the name of the Buddha or certain mantras one ensures one's rebirth into a blissful existence. I've reinterpreted that to mean that I can chant my way into a better place in the Here and Now.
what else. filled out the online application to teach Spanish in the Memphis city school system and hopefully will hear from them soon. even changed my voicemail from Spike sneering "someone wasn't worthy" to something more suitable with my name and the invitation to leave a message.
in general despite various stressful things and tinkering with my meds I'm just plain Happy. Doing Well.
Going Out a whole bunch and enjoying people.
Rocking a lot of high heels and short skirts, having my dancing skills requested by various bands, doing a little free-lance social work for my Girls.
Life's good.
Happy Daylight Savings.
Love,
the Future Profesora Sue
am seriously considering substituting daily bike riding and biofeedback for effexor.
tired of being another blindeyed whimpering pup at the tit of
Fitter, happier, more productive,
comfortable,
not drinking too much,
regular exercise at the gym
(3 days a week),
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries ,
at ease,
eating well
(no more microwave dinners and saturated fats),
a patient better driver,
a safer car(baby smiling in back seat),
sleeping well
(no bad dreams),
no paranoia,
careful to all animals
(never washing spiders down the plughole),
keep in contact with old friends
(enjoy a drink now and then),
will frequently check credit at
(moral) bank (hole in the wall),
favors for favors,
fond but not in love,
charity standing orders,
on Sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants),
car wash
(also on Sundays),
no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate,
nothing so childish - at a better pace,
slower and more calculated,
no chance of escape,
now self-employed,
concerned (but powerless),
an empowered and informed member of society
(pragmatism not idealism),
will not cry in public,
less chance of illness,
tires that grip in the wet
(shot of baby strapped in back seat),
a good memory,
still cries at a good film,
still kisses with saliva,
no longer empty and frantic
like a cat
tied to a stick,
that's driven into
frozen winter shit
(the ability to laugh at weakness),
calm,
fitter,
healthier and more productive
a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics.
